the story of la nadine and the hungry, hungry seal
a friend of mine used to quote a line of her favourite book to me quite often. i never read the book and i can't for the life of me remember it's title, but the line has stuck with me for several years and always pops into my head at times when i feel like the world is one big-ass bubble of evil and it's inhabitants satanic warriors on a mission to mess my head up good.
this be the line:
do you ever feel like you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown 24 hours a day?
yes. yes, i do. and thanks for asking. you're too kind. wanna make out now?
so anyway, although i'm all down with the mopies for reasons inexplicable, i am going to tell you all a funny story from my childhood because as my mama always said, nobody likes a whinging bitch. well, almost nobody, huh chris martin?
the story of la nadine and the hungry, hungry seal:
it was a sparkly summers day in sydney when a feisty, curly-haired seven year old lass who liked to dance and and play elastics set off on a trip to the zoo with her charmingly functional family.
a lover of all animals, but not yet old enough to chain herself naked to cages in support of their liberation, this little girl loved the zoo.
and so when she came upon the seal enclosure, she shrieked with glee:
look mummy, seals, my favourite animals in the whole wide world ever.
of course she had earlier made the same proclamation about lions and tigers and bears (oh my!), but that's beside the point.
determined to show the seals how much she loved them, and already aware at such a tender age of the international language of touch, she stuck her hand through the silly cage and called old sealy over for a pat.
he came. he saw. he bit.
i screamed. i cried. i bled.
and bled.
and bled.
there still remains a very faint scar on my right index finger. i wish it was more pronounced because scars are fucking sexy. like my friend patrick's bad-ass mofo scar down his chest from his knife fight/gall bladder removal (depending on who he's telling) that would make any girl want to remove her panties and make the hot sex with him pronto.
*drool*
oh, yeah, so anyway, that's the story of la nadine and the hungry, hungry seal.
5 Comments:
You've just sealed our friendship forever.
arf arf.
hehe - reminds me of a time i got bitten by a goose. another well loved story my dad likes to tell people i bring home in an affectionate hairruffling embarrassing kinda way.
Love your zoo story.
But everytime somebody mentions zoos, I always think of an old washed-out photo of me at Taronga in 1986... when my mother used to dress me up like a little chinese communist boy. I told mum starch makes my legs itch. She never listened.
Unfortunately it was not a great novel or the story of a crime of passion that that line came from but a film. A STEVE MARTIN film. Grand Canyon. I know...
A
well, smartypants, did you consider the possibility that maybe the writers of said STEVE MARTIN film got the line from a book? or maybe that, being that it isn't the most amazing line in the world, that it could perhaps have been written coincidentally by 2 separate people without knowing?
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