text etiquette
either my phone is trying to teach me some manners, or i am going insane.
i have saved the word 'cunt' to my auto-spell dictionary thingamajigy about a thousand times, and yet every time i go to write it in a text message - probably a lot more often than a lady should - it has disappeared. and 'aunt' just doesn't have the same effect.
what's the deal? why can't i save 'cunt' to my phone? is it a conspiracy? has it been deemed "too offensive" for texts? why is nokia suddenly the arbiter of social etiquette?
i want answers!
as a woman i have no problem with the word 'cunt'. in fact i love it. that's right. i love 'cunt'.
i used to think it was offensive and derogatory and just plain nasty. but not anymore. no, no. times have changed my friend, and i have changed with them.
and i'll say it again, just so we're all clear. i love 'cunt'.
i love it for its literal meaning. i love it for what it represents. i love it for its vulgarity. i love it for the fact that it is still more or less socially taboo. i love it for it's very sound, a sound that resonates from the throat with clicky vim.
once again with the chorus: i love 'cunt'.
there are few other words as versatile as 'cunt'. apart from being vulgar slang for the female genital organs, it is a verb, noun and adjective all in one. its almost as wonderfully adaptable as 'schmitz'. almost.
here are some examples of how you too can incorporate 'cunt' into every day conversation:
1) to imply being 'ripped off':
sally: so, how much did you get the new car for?
bessie: i got cunted!
2) to describe someone you don't like very much:
sally: my ex-boyfriend is a dodgy cunt.
3) to describe someone you do like very much while also appealing to the youth of today just like thorpie does:
fannie: he's a fully sick cunt.
4) when addressing a good friend in an endearing and playful manner:
bessie: hey cunty!
fannie: hey cuntalina!
example number 4 is derived from a girlie holiday in byron bay many years ago in which my girlfriends and i decided that we were going to stand up against oppression. no longer would we be offended by common usage of 'cunt'. as women, we would take on the word and use it to empower ourselves. just like has been done with 'nigga'. and 'schmitz'. girl power.
on behalf of my sistas: we love 'cunt'.
and so i have a message for the makers of my phone. free speech is the right of the people. i will not be silenced. you dictatorial cunts.
13 Comments:
Yeah! They cunt do that to us!
Right on, sister!
I have lived with boys for the last three years and they use the word a fair bit, so I went from being shocked and outraged to secretly enjoying coming home and saying "I've had a cunt of a day!"
But I made the mistake of saying it in front of one of my school friends once, and she was floored, absolutely floored. And disgusted.
Those phone dictionaries are dodgy as. I'm constantly re-adding fuck and shit and cunt, but it ALWAYS knows how to spell brand names like Mitsubishi etc.
yep - just added cunt with insert word but it wouldn't even come up with it as an option in the very same text. Aunt? Cumu? WTF is cumu? I'm going to start using cumu as a truly filthy swear.
you so funny la nadine.
i almost did a wee out of my...
hmmm, it's not so naff, when you put it like that is it.
still, am in agreence with the whole cunting theory.
And, only in Australia could you actually get away with walking into a room and saying to your mates ‘Hey cunts’ and have them know that you are actually being very endearing indeed.
I also love the term 'cunt features' which can be used for people you eitehr love or hate.
... and I finally figured out the way to make my all-male household blush. Now that 'cunt' is a very common party of our household vocabulary and they've realised there's no use trying to shock me by using it. The only way to show pure, utter dislike for a person *cue: jaws hitting floor and look of shock from ALL the people around me* is to refer to them as a 'cunt scrape'.
Sorry if I have offended. Hang on a sec, no I'm not!
What's the story with that dictionary you've linked to? It says:
Cunt: 1. The female genital organs. 2. Sexual intercourse with a woman.
WTF? Has anyone else ever heard of "having sex" refered to as "to cunt" a woman? I've never heard it used that way but, you know, if they say so...
If I had one, I'd have just wet myself with it from laughing, too.
Could be further appropriation of the term. Y'know like, 'Last night i dicked this chick' *
from the girls' point of view.
Personal favourite is from a couple of kiwi chicks who said
'ah yeah, i really feel like getting cunted, eh'.
This doesnt happen in the UK. I proved it by saying exactly that, in a perfect kiwi accent, at a postxmas school reunion/bitch session. i was shunned.
* one of my housemates said this to me recently. i laughed. not hard enough to wee out of my..
C U next Tuesday, fuckers! meant in the nicest possible way, course.
Darling, don't you think it's time now to stop this blogeing you've gotten yourself into? You were such a sweet little thing. Come on home now - we won't say anything about it. It will be just like it was. There are lovely scones in the oven.. hmmm?
love,
Mum
ps, I've put your Billy Raymond Cyris posters back on the wall. See, I'm giving a little bit to.
anon, whoever you are, the day my mum actually uses the oven is the day i'll stop blogging.
until then, billy ray can wait.
If Thorpie starts doing adds describing products as "fully sick cunts" I might start buying. Even his utra-low GI Water (pardon my naivite but I had no idea that water was chock-full of sugary goodness - now I can start watering down my cordial, or I could just start buying Ian's "flavoured" water).
Cunt: A Cultural Dissertation - some light reading for you.
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