older and wiser. or not.
lessons learnt over my 24th birthday weekend:
- if you plan on going here and eating squid ink angel hair pasta with spanner crab meat, cherry tomatoes, olive oil and chilli, YOUR FAMILY WILL SEE YOUR CUM FACE!
- telling your poverty-stricken, inner-city dwelling, music-loving friends that your family gave you "diamonds and pearls" for your birthday will inevitably result in the response "i didn't know you liked prince that much".
- if you go out drinking on your birthday eve, know that your hairdresser will tell you that "you look a bit worn out, sweetie".
- commanding vague acquaintances in a pub to wish you happy birthday may not be the best way to make friends and influence people.
- this lady can challenge me to a destiny's child booty dance-off anytime. she gots da moves fo shizzle.
- there is little sexier than someone speaking passionately about their work. so to he who so beautifully described his latest offering to the script gods to me on friday night: for ten minutes you actually were the sexiest man alive and i did want to give you a hand job.
- making all your friends go with you to the greyhound races in the middle of winter is THE BEST FUCKING IDEA EVER!!!
- hearing the bogan announcer at the doggies wish you a "happy birthday, little lady" in between races truly warms the cockles of one's heart.
- baked potato with coleslaw, sour cream, cheese and beetroot. who knew the doggies was a gourmet's paradise?
- just because a boy thinks you are too forward does not mean he will not come to your birthday party. some people are just fucking weird.
- some people just don't really care that its your birthday. the fact they didn't text, call or come to the festivities does not make them evil. nor does it mean they hate you.
- okay, so it might make some of them evil and/or mean that they hate you. cope.
- "i want to have sex with your waist, woman" is the best. compliment. ever.
- telling a boy whom you have not seen in 6 years that you once saw him having sex in a bedouin tent in the israeli desert may not be the best way to say "thanks for surprising me by showing up to my birthday". especially not in front of all his friends.
- loudly stating that the shemale gyrating all over some poor shmuck near you is the "human equivalent of spam" is a bold, bold move at 4am.
- throwing a tantrum because you didn't get to pash anyone on your birthday because all your options either left early or brought dates will not win you much sympathy from large, surly irish cab drivers.
- its amazing the love that comes over you when a friend gets it just right with a birthday gift. this year my friends outdid themselves.
- there is no better way to spend the day after your drunken birthday fest than watching dvds and pigging out with your mum.
- best. birthday. in. years.
x
25 Comments:
Happy birthday, Cans-Girl. I fucking hope you got my text. It was late on Saturday but then I had just woken up. TELL ME I AM NOT ONE OF THE BAD PEOPLE.
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you are not one of the bad people.
you are one of the BEST people.
and i love you.
i did indeed get your text, but by that stage i was already so drunk that hand-eye coordination was not in my realm of abilities.
x
One of Us
One of Us
> - best. birthday. in. years.
hurrah! big kiss, my girl!
XX
Happy birthday gorgeous lady friend.
And, I too did try and call but it did ring out. Perhaps you were cheering the doggies or shaking your sexy thing at the time?
None the less, my thoughts were with you on Saturday and I will try calling you again this week.
All my love to you, Angel.
Lee
I want your birthday, about 6 months ago, for my birthday. But I'll have mine with the pashes. And I'd like to retain the "turning 24" part in favour of my turning 35.
Cheers. Ta.
No special birthday present of a new born nephew?
nope. he's scheduled to arrive next monday.
you'll know when he arrives because the angels will be smiling down upon us from paradise and all will be well in the world again.
oh, and because i'll blog about it.
I feel I may be one of the terrible. I really hope it was magic. I really do.
Happy Birth young Lady.
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I'd like to know who has that script for the Gods. I'd like to option it. It better not have been a play.
Happy Birthday, Nadine. All the very best.
some people just don't really care that its your birthday. the fact they didn't text, call or come to the festivities does not make them evil. nor does it mean they hate you.
Eeep.
Happiest of happy birthdays, Nads. Sadly, I haven't been near a computer for awhile so email was out of the question.
Still, we will have dinner to make up for my failure to go to the Doggies. Although The Mother would have gone down a treat with all your friends, I felt that it probably wasn't a situation I would feel comfortable in. ;)
Happy birthday!
Sending you warm jugs and affectionate nip tweaks.
That should have read "warm hugs" but go with whatever makes you the happiest.
Happy day to you Miss Nadine.
Hope the rest of the year is as good as the birthday weekend!
Dxxxx
The dogs was a revelation. So the best idea ever!
The Spam, however, still makes me choke on my breakfast. Have you ever been so offended? That wig! Those "mum jeans"!
xxxxxxx
Are we still evil people if we didn't know it was your birthday? Probably. If we were any kind of visitors to Nadstown we would have done our research.
Hope you got lots of loving even if no hot pash.
Hippo birdy two ewes
Shit. I'm one of the bad people. Will some vacant compliments with lots of exclamation points make up for my crap behavior?
They will!!! You are the raddest, most rockinest babe in the world!!!!!!!!!
You should know that I would have seen to it that you were thoroughly pashed on your birthday and fawned over like an exotic space pet.
I'm not so good with the long distance correspondence lately but I still want to chat you up and try out some new four letter words I've learned. Let's set a time. I'm off to bed now. Have a nice bath and give my love to the Cowboy Junkies.
How well has your guilt-tripping of 'bad people' worked! Can't believe you went to the dogs - that's the best thing ever - do they really chase a pink fluffy rabbit around? Can't they smell that it's not real?
So glad you had such an amazing birthday darling - sounded fun and I wish I'd been there.
Love from Italia xxxxxxxxxxxxx s.
How well has your guilt-tripping of 'bad people' worked!
busted.
serves me right for telling people who know me so well about my blog.
i wish you'd been with us at the dogs to you gorgeous woman, you.
hurry back now. and bring me that hot italian you promised me.
x
Saturday? Saturday?
Not to be pedantic or uptight or anything bro but I believe you'll find that it was not just YOUR birthday, but in fact it was MINE and TOM HANKS' and FRED SAVAGE'S FROM THE WONDER YEARS and with such a cutting edge rock n roll totally happenin crew, like, it's good to share.
xoxoxoxx nora
Im a bad person..........
from the looks of your blog, tryst, indeed you are.
"human equivalent of spam"
Gold.
I think I'm one of the baddies.
*offers abject apology*
Happy birthday girl. Glad it was great.
xo
cum face?? i'll show you cum face.. hehe...
Happy Birthday! sorry i missed it. have been awol. am back.
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Yikes - I also missed it, so my apologies and best wishes for ... next year.
I'm in time for that, at least.
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