you always take a big bite, its such a gorgeous sight, to see you eat in the middle of the night...

hi my name is la nadine, and i like to listen to 'love song dedications' sometimes while driving along in my automobile.

sometimes i like to listen to it because I need to be reminded that love really does exist out there. especially for seemingly uneducated bogans with names that end in 'azza'. and prison inmates.

sometimes I like to listen to it for a bit of a chuckle, imagining richard "the love god" mercer in his little studio, spreading the love in his special, monotone way, while at the same time drawing devil horns and phalluses on magazine pictures of his contemporaries.

and sometimes I like to listen to it because i'm in the mood to sing along (loudly) to some good old fashioned power ballads while driving towards my empty, loveless bed.

"don't cry for me, blogosphere-ina..."

anyway, the other night I was listening to 'love song dedications' on my way to the video store doing something REALLY COOL and NOT IN ANY WAY LAME AT ALL, when I heard the love god reading out what is possibly the GREATEST LOVE LETTER OF ALL TIME!

now I don't remember the exact details of the letter, but it went something along the lines of this:

dear snuggle-bunny-woo-woo*,

when I met you at the PIE EATING COMPETITION, it was the happiest day of my life.

I will always remember the feeling I had the moment our eyes locked across the MEAT PIE TABLE.

I can't believe I have finally found a woman that can OUT-EAT ME AT EVERY MEAL.

you had me at "ten more please".

love baby-bubby-ya-ya.*

*names have been changed for legal reasons.

is this not absolute GOLD?

of course I am completely aware that this may have been the work of some bored teenagers/accountants/bloggers, and not actually the result of a real life fatty boomba love affair.

but I choose to believe in its truth nonetheless.

for if a couple of pie-eating carnies can find true happiness in this increasingly harsh and violent world, surely the rest of us have a chance of finding it too.

or at least I hope i do.

(n.b. the author has nothing at all against pie-eating carnies, nor does she find them to be incapable of love and happiness. in fact, some of her best friends are pie-eating carnies.)